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Carlene Tan Li Xuan
11th July 1988.
Currently 23+.
Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School,
SRJC (first 3 months),
TPJC, NUS FASS (econs).
loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

hey peeps!!!

i'm finally back after 12 days. i guess pple back at s'pore would think 12 days is long, but 12 days at thailand really flew past quickly. And i do miss my time there so very much. i guess i won't ever spend such a meaningful time in my life had i not gone there. really, this trip was NO regret. love it to bits.

On the first day as i was about to board and take off, i felt kind of reluctant, like as if there were many things i couldn't leave behind. Many things i wanted to bring along with me because i felt i would be lonely, since i didn't have any close friends and there wasn't anyone from my class, my next closest "kin" was candice(my sec sch classmate). So ya, the feeling was rather unbearable. and 12 days appeared really really long. Visiting the school kinda made things a little worse for me cos i didn't dare to walk up and talk to them. i mean the kids and us were like in 2 totally different lingo. no link no nothing. the only words i knew were "sa-was dee ka". tt's it. we were all quipped with a paper with simple phrases like what's your name and so on. BUT other than that we were like aliens from 2 different planets.

The food wasn't exactly my kind of food. the curry tasted a little funny, but we all tried to finish it cos the kids were reciting this "song" of some sort and it said something like they had to finish everything on their plates cos there are pple worse than them and thus they should appreciated everything they have and so they must finish all their food. Felt kinda ashamed cause most singaporean kids don't appreciate things this way. i mean even if we had that mentality, it wasn't carried out most of the time. I really did try to finish what i could, but those bamboo shoots were really hard to swallow. i'm really sorry i couldn't finish it. Dinner was bbq at the back of this restaurant we were gonna have our dinner and breakfast at. Back there, the tables were filled with crikets and insects and fleas all over the table especially nea the lamps which was super difgusting. i mean typical s'pore girl like me, afraid of bugs. So ya, dinner wasn't all that enjoyable i guess?

So the first day was definitely no meaningful day. Felt kinda lousy cos i didn't know why i wouldn't just open my stupid mouth and say hi or something. So i was determined to do so the next day.

Second day wasn't any better. i was still rather closed up and i guess some pple noticed it. Cos they kinda asked and pushed me a little to do something. of which i guess i did in the end. say mayb 3rd day at school or something. It was a saturday if i remembered correctly. The kids weren't suppose to have school, in fact but they were called back so we could spend time with them. So we did and we played some games, wanted a telematch but the game failed cos we couldn't get the kids attention so they were bascially just wondering about pulling us along. After that, we had lunch, which erm, well, ok. can't really remember what i ate actually. haha.

Alright, anyways, the days that followed became much better much happier and i got to know the kids better, kinda regret knowing them only so late later. Things began to turn for the better, found pple with the same frequency, gossiping away, set up the gossip club with loads of nonsense in it. haha... really cute stuff.

The last day at school was really hard, really really hard. Just think, how many pple can build bonds with pple u can't even really communicate with, how many can feel the love arising even without speaking a word. How many pple can truly appreciate every single little thing you say and do, and appreciate your acute presense to the maximum. Cried our hearts out, started tearing from the start of the lesson. The feeling of having to part was terrible. It was really heart wrenching.

Yesterday was shopping shopping shopping. Well, met an ugly store vendor at patong, shan't elaborate, but anyways, i was happily buying, felt i should have bought more. shucks. haha... ESPECIALLY those BAGS!!! WA!!! cannot find in s'pore really.

I guess feelings and emotions in 12 days can never be represented enough in words. Memories are kept deep within me and its forever. i'll always remeber.